FSM Blogger

I just realized something the other day--influence over others is a very big deal. In my last post I talked about Barry Bonds and his comments about our language and it's influence over kids. That made me think. Our actions might be a larger influence than our words. In a recent class, I asked the participants this question: "How many parents say one thing then do another?" Out of a class of 56 9-12th graders, probably 55 raised their hands. Now I am sure there is a bit of exaggeration here. But my point is that what we say and what we do must match up. Some call this integrity while others say its following through. Then there is the phrase, 'walk the talk'. All pretty much mean the same thing (integrity has a somewhat deeper meaning but still also relates to doing what we say we are going to do). Now, if we relate this 'walking the talk' idea back to Barry Bonds, well, let's just say the evidence against him looks ominous. But if we turn the ole magnifying glass toward our lives, we might also become painfully aware of the times we say one thing then turn around and do another. How do we typically respond to people that constantly say they will do something then don't do it? Also, what about those folks that are so quick to tell people how to act but don't act the way they are telling people to act. How do you feel about those folks? More to follow...

Ok, this is my first post in a while. I am hoping to get back to more thoughts (at least posting more than once every few months!!). Having said that, let me say that I am not a big fan of Barry Bonds. I do however have a grasp on how big of a record he is about to eclipse. Babe Ruth's home run record was the bench mark until Hank Aaron broke it. Yet, it still stands as one of the most incredible sporting accomplishments of all time. That is what makes Barry breaking it so hard for me. However, this post is not about the record. Instead, I want to comment about something that I heard Barry say in an interview last night on ESPN. There was a question someone asked him about how he is handling being booed pretty much every where he goes. The reporter went on to say that he himself had been sitting in the left field stands and heard first hand the horrible comments shouted at Barry. When answering the question about the comments, Barry simply said he doesn't really pay attention that much to the comments (as he has learned to tune them out). Then he said something that I thought was very profound and really make me think. He said that some of the folks making such horrible and derogatory comments about him were also making those comments in front of their own children (as they had brought them to the game).

I have never thought of this before. I guess I have become jaded or de-sensitized to vulgar language or remarks made at public venues. But how can we become so de-sensitized to remarks made in front of such innocent and impressionable kids? Then I thought how can we be so harsh in our language? Then I thought, how can we take all this so seriously? I mean after all, this is only a game. I don't even know Barry Bonds. I don't know his family. I don't know if he took steroids (for sure). Have we come so far as a society that we have forgotten how much influence and responsibility we have to younger generations to model good behavior (both in word and deed)? Children are not born knowing how to make fun of people. I mean none of us came into the world knowing how say such hurtful things. We learn it. We are all sponges. We absorb information. As we grow older, we learn to filter what we hear. But when we are young we simply repeat what we hear. When I was about 14, I was going to a basketball game with my father and 2 of his friends. One of the men's names was Gary Cooper (not the movie actor). As we were walking to the gym, I simply turned to Gary and said, "Cooper, who do you think will win tonight?" My father looked at me and said, "What did you call him? His name is MR. COOPER!!". I was embarrassed and fearful. At the same time, I was repeating what I had heard my father and others call Mr. Cooper for years. Now, I knew better, but I didn't really have the old filter turned on to catch myself as I spoke. My point is that we have a responsibility to the younger generation of people to be mindful of our influence. We can influence not only what they think but what they say. Barry Bonds was right on in his comments when he said that those fathers (who curse and rant in front of their own children--and those children around him) will reap the reward of their behavior. He could not have been more right. Maybe it is time for us to more closely watch what we say in public and also watch what we think in private.