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Yesterday (like every day before it) I found myself simply staring at Cade. He wasn't really doing anything in particular. In fact, I think he was sleeping. I wasn't worried about anything or concerned that he may stop breathing. I was just staring. And as I was staring I had a thought. "I can't believe you are here right now", I said out loud. It is still hard to believe that Cade has arrived. He is a miracle. Of course we are all miracles and I can't help but think that God must stare at us from time to time. Surely he feels the same love for me that I am feeling for Cade. That unconditional, supportive, passionate, future-looking, ready to see what we do next, type of love. It makes me think deeply about love and God and the miracle that I stare at every day. Just a thought.

I am reminded (these days) of a time back about 15 years ago when I used to work nights at a grocery store. From 1991-1994 I worked mostly the 10pm to 8 am shift as a stocker and grocery manager. It was a good job that paid well but left me pretty much tired all the time. I eventually settled into a good sleep pattern--meaning I could sleep anywhere, anytime, from 20 minutes to 10 hours. I actually remember one time when I stayed up 4 days then slept 22 hours to catch up.

I feel a lot like that now being a new dad. We just sleep when we can and take turns with the little guy who seems to be on his own schedule. But I am not complaining. I love every minute of it. Besides I am staying up for a much better reason than making sure we have enough tuna on the grocery shelves or seeing to it that the sack bins are full. I am sure that I will sleep some day but for now, I just stare at Cade and love him and sometimes remember the training I had staying up late getting ready for this time of life.

I like cool things. Stuff like a good book, good movie, good TV, TiVo, iPod, digital cameras, good websites, etc. But of course I may be the only one that likes that stuff and may be the only one that thinks that stuff is cool. Now there are other cool things too. Like watching your child smile for the first time, giving hiim a bath, watching your wife sleep after a long day, a sunset on the beach, the cripsness of autumn, the amazing Cherry Blossoms of spring, a fresh snow fall and the quietness that comes with it. Yea, I am getthing more emotional as I grow older and I think I am learning the difference between what is cool and what isn't. Or I guess you could say I am learning the difference between what is important and meaningful and what is not. Just a thought.