Friday, June 29, 2007
Yesterday (like every day before it) I found myself simply staring at Cade. He wasn't really doing anything in particular. In fact, I think he was sleeping. I wasn't worried about anything or concerned that he may stop breathing. I was just staring. And as I was staring I had a thought. "I can't believe you are here right now", I said out loud. It is still hard to believe that Cade has arrived. He is a miracle. Of course we are all miracles and I can't help but think that God must stare at us from time to time. Surely he feels the same love for me that I am feeling for Cade. That unconditional, supportive, passionate, future-looking, ready to see what we do next, type of love. It makes me think deeply about love and God and the miracle that I stare at every day. Just a thought.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
This Reminds Me...
I am reminded (these days) of a time back about 15 years ago when I used to work nights at a grocery store. From 1991-1994 I worked mostly the 10pm to 8 am shift as a stocker and grocery manager. It was a good job that paid well but left me pretty much tired all the time. I eventually settled into a good sleep pattern--meaning I could sleep anywhere, anytime, from 20 minutes to 10 hours. I actually remember one time when I stayed up 4 days then slept 22 hours to catch up.
I feel a lot like that now being a new dad. We just sleep when we can and take turns with the little guy who seems to be on his own schedule. But I am not complaining. I love every minute of it. Besides I am staying up for a much better reason than making sure we have enough tuna on the grocery shelves or seeing to it that the sack bins are full. I am sure that I will sleep some day but for now, I just stare at Cade and love him and sometimes remember the training I had staying up late getting ready for this time of life.
Saturday, June 23, 2007
I like cool things. Stuff like a good book, good movie, good TV, TiVo, iPod, digital cameras, good websites, etc. But of course I may be the only one that likes that stuff and may be the only one that thinks that stuff is cool. Now there are other cool things too. Like watching your child smile for the first time, giving hiim a bath, watching your wife sleep after a long day, a sunset on the beach, the cripsness of autumn, the amazing Cherry Blossoms of spring, a fresh snow fall and the quietness that comes with it. Yea, I am getthing more emotional as I grow older and I think I am learning the difference between what is cool and what isn't. Or I guess you could say I am learning the difference between what is important and meaningful and what is not. Just a thought.
Friday, May 25, 2007
I Am Alive
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
How Loud Part 2
You see Tony, just a year and half earlier, had come up to see Mindy and I during a time in our lives that has become a defining moment. We miscarried our first child and Mindy had to go to the hospital to make sure that everything was taken care of (the polite way of saying it). I will never forget sitting in the waiting room with my brother as we just sat in silence. I am usually a very talkative person but that day was different. We had been trying to have kids for over 4 years and thought our wait was finally over. It is that moment that I began to learn that being loud is more than just screaming and jumping up and down but it can be a presence or a touch or a smile or a look of empathy (not sympathy).
I will never forget that day. Nor will I ever forget the day I surprised my brother at the end of one of his defining moments. I looked forward to it for so long...as far back as a hospital waiting room.
Friday, April 27, 2007
How Loud Are You
I have been really taken aback by American Idol's 'Give Back' program they launched this week. I think of it along the lines of 'Extreme Makeover Home Edition'. Over 70 million called in to vote and over 65 million dollars has been raised to benefit the ONE.org (among other things). Let me throw that back out--over $65 million!!! That's not a church sponsored event. That is News Corp, Fox, ONE.org, and others joining together and doing what they can to help kids, adults, lost, homeless, needy, poor, people in some of the poorest parts of our WORLD!! They are doing something!! Mean while I am struggling with what to SAY to people about madly and wildly following the Creator of the Universe. I am not sure I know how to tell people how to do that. But think I can point to places that God is actually working (even if those that he is working through are not regular 'church' folks).
Jesus seemed more interested in helping the poor, homeless, down and out, helpless and the like than he did making sure we have the right color walls in our buildings or enough pizza at our next function. Jesus' call is the same 2000 years ago as today:
Go, Disciple, Baptize, Teach, Follow Me, Serve, Love, and Worship. How many of those do we do really well? Or, how many of those do we see as the most important thing to the detriment of the rest?
How loud are we? I guess we answer that question by first asking ourselves, how loud is God screaming at us? How loud is God in our lives? How much does he have to do to show us that whether we unite behind Him or not, his Will, will be done here on earth?
How loud indeed.